In Chapter 116, while Dabwick meditated in the shape of a dolphin, they contemplated the nature and cost of transmutation and illusion magic:
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At dusk, Dabwick, who has been waiting for this moment all day, excuses themself and, in a fluid motion, vaults over the railing on the starboard side of the ship, transforms into a pink river dolphin, Inia geoffrensis, and dives into the water, swimming apace with the Starling in one surprisingly graceful, fluid motion.
SPLASH
The water is quiet. Blessedly quiet and vast. Dabwick appreciates the sense of space and quiet SO MUCH, they could weep fishy tears of joy. They allow air to pass through their spout, take a deep breath, and begin to quiet their mind, and whether it’s simply a change in attitude or a genuine phenomenon, Dabwick finds meditation in this space and in this form to be… okay.
But how can that be? Dolphins don’t meditate.
In truth, Dabwick has changed physical form to play the part of the dolphin, and inside it is Dabwick’s mind at work. Really, though, the experience of their body temperature cooling to match the temperature of the water is so visceral, Dabwick feels like a dolphin, sleek and slippery, and that real experience for Dabwick aids them in their meditation: What is true, and what is real?
Dabwick reminds themself of when they changed shape in the Enchanted Wood for the man on the leaf.
Chester, was it? I changed from me Grippli form to me natural form, me True form. ‘Cuz I wanted to demonstrate to the man I could be trusted. That Nixon did the opposite: he changed to hide his True form.
Dabwick’s first memories of changing their appearance came with that Hat of Human Guise that they shared with Sam. The old druid had sold them the hat gave them a gruff warning that illusion magic was not a reliable way of changing your identity, just your appearance.
That wot we were—wearing the hat—was same as not, no matter how much we may have looked different.
Sam liked the hat for sneaking. As a “human child” or a “gnome” or just a “random halfling,” Sam was happy to experiment with standing around unnoticed in places where he shouldn’t be.
Not that Sam would have been noticed much anyway. Poor Sammy.
And that’s the one bollocks thing about magic that Dabwick has to contend with: the bravado they feel in the shape of a another creature or the strength they feel in commanding nature itself—as REAL as it feels, the Understanding that Dabwick uses distorts the Truth, for a moment. Does Dabwick essentially trade an ounce of authenticity for every spell?
Wasn’t Sammy, though, always really Sammy underneath the disguise?
The mental trauma Vik and Grip are experiencing is the same—distorted Truth that feels Real. Somehow we manage to keep going, somehow we manage to keep pulling ourselves together and continuing forward.
Because…
Dabwick Understands: the Truth will out. In one way or another, the Real Truth of who they are and what they’re all doing together is what will unite them, as long as they can keep the evil at bay.
So Dabwick settles into the Real Truth: they are in the water, meditating, and it is as refreshing to their mind as the cool water is to their changed body.
First Reference: Chapter 116
Other Notable References: —